Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize