everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
