matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This baby is an asshole
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
