Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
