I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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