you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
