took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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