you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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