I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
