i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
