Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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