worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
