Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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