i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
