sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
