She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is it because I queefed?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
