Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
