Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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