Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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