cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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