I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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