You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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