I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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