how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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