Whod you bang
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
