I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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