i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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