Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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