I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
