we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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