so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
