so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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