He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize