sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
