I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
