Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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