I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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