Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
