I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize