I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
