White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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