What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
