Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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