I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
