Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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