Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
