3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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