I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
