Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
