My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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