am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
