Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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