R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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