dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
