Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize